I’ve Married Tim-The-Tool-Man-Taylor

It’s true. I’ve married Tim-The-Tool-Man-Taylor. You know the guy who has these great ideas that get out of hand? And his long-suffering wife still loves him? Yeah. Him. And not it’s not because he leans over a fence talking to Wilson. Though that happens too. But that’s not why I’m writing about it now.

Honestly my husband is an amazing man. It’s just that sometimes he gets a little, well carried away. And then things don’t always go as planned.

Take for example what happened last week. Well, we actually have to go a bit farther back than that. We bought a new trailer in January. It’s everything we ever wanted. It also means that the big kitchen reno we are dreaming of is going to be postponed a couple of years.

In the meantime, our ancient old kitchen fridge was dying. The ice maker had stopped working a while ago, and the water stopped a few weeks back. Food was freezing in the bottom drawer and the top shelf no matter what setting it was on. Oh and did I mention that it was almond? And UGLY.

One night last week my husband got the great idea to go on Kijiji, find a decent stainless steel fridge that would fit in the space and use that for a few years until we build our showcase kitchen. (You know the one, it will grace a magazine spread or be featured on a reno show. Yeah, that one.)

He found a great one that wasn’t too far away, and immediately contacted the owner. A time was arranged the next day to pick it up and he recruited one of his brothers to help him. Sounds straightforward right?

When I got back from the dance pick up, I found the almond beast discarded at the curb while it’s doors lagged behind halfway up the driveway. Wonderful… Not.

I went in to discover that the “new” fridge was still in the front hall and that the old one had barfed up it’s contents all over my kitchen. Ice cream was sitting on the floor melting, fruit had rolled off the counter to land where it may and somehow (I think) the dog had been kept away from it all.

You see the fridge would not go up the four stairs because of an oddly placed bathroom (it was like that when we bought the house. It means much of the furniture for the main floor and upstairs had to go around the back of the house and in the kitchen doors.) That would explain why the snow blower was out and running. Unfortunately it couldn’t cut through all that ice left over from December’s storm and manually chipping it would take a decade or two.

Which means we have to wait for our forever winter to finally end. In the meantime, the chair that I sit on to put my shoes on has been relegated to the garage and the fridge is in it’s place. In the front hall.

Yeah, not happening. Dear? You know that beer fridge you wanted to buy for the garage? Go back on Kijiji tonight and get one. Pick it up tomorrow. Then you can put it in the kitchen for now and this beast can go in the garage.

I’m not usually that assertively bossy, but I was not going to live with my kitchen fridge in the front hall. And he did it.

Unfortunately when he picked up that plain ‘ol white fridge, it was really cold and had been in an unheated garage. It wasn’t until it was running in our heated one (yes it ended up there first) that we discovered what was wrong with it. It stinks. Of smoke. Inside and out. Just how much do you have to smoke to have the INSIDE of your fridge stinking like that?!

It has been cleaned and scrubbed and cleaned again. There is no way that thing is getting in my kitchen like that.

So for now, it lives in my garage, blocking the way through for taking out the garbage and recycling. And I have a kitchen with a big bare spot that is not covered by tiles, but by a weird tone of turquoise paint. And a big-ass stainless steel fridge in my front hall.

Can spring please just come?

But wait! The circus isn’t finished yet! He picked the big one up in a work van. It fell over inside the van. Didn’t scratch the fridge, but it popped out the side of the van and cracked the paint. Good thing he’s the boss. Bad thing was he didn’t use the old truck that’s close to being retired, he used the good one. Sigh.

And since it is such a Tim Taylor circus, I’m willing to lay money that there will be another issue getting it in. I have an idea of what it could be, but am not willing to jinx it that much by publishing it. Because honestly, I just want my ugly kitchen back together.

And then get into our RV and hit the road, because I can’t stand cooking in that f-ugly kitchen. I know, I know. I made the choice. And I’d probably make it again. Though I might just suck up using the old almond fridge a while longer.