Category Archives: Car Pooling

7 Things I Never Thought I’d Say Before I Became a Parent

Once upon a time, long, long ago, in a city far, far away (well a 45 minute commute anyway) I had a life. It was civilized, and people spoke politely to each other (with the exception of road rage) and we never spoke of body parts unless we were drunk or laughing at some celebrity who forgot she wasn’t wearing underpants. It was peaceful there. And drinks at noon were cool.

Then I became a parent.

black mini van parked in my driveway

black mini van parked in my driveway

And I found myself saying all manner of strange things. Things that once repulsed me were now topics of everyday conversation. In fact, I often find myself desperately seeking some adult conversation. A mere sentence or two that has nothing to do with the contents of one’s diaper or where the damn permission form has gotten to now.

When I stop to think about it, some of the things I’ve said are pretty horrifying. So, just to brighten your day a bit (as you revel in not having to say those things, or that you managed to escape them), I thought I’d share with you some of the most awful things I’ve found myself saying:

7.  A mini-van? Really?

6.  Yes, someone needs to be sober in the house at all times.

5.  No the baby doesn’t count.

4.  Oh, that diaper smells delightful! Think we can make it home without causing another rash? That mom over there is about to ram us for our spot.

3.  Seriously? You’re picking your nose and eating it? At the table? Instead of this dinner I slaved over?

2.  I know it’s fashionable to wear tight shorts, but honey, do you know what camel toe is?

1.  Sure I can take three more kids in the van. Pile them in!

 

 

Advertisements

Seriously? Me driving a mini-van?

A mini-van. I swore I’d never, ever drive one.

Be careful what you swear you will never do. (Wonder how many times I’ll have to learn *that* lesson before it sinks in?)

I LOVED my Xterra. Sure it was tall and everyone joked about me needed a rope ladder to climb in. Height is not a blessing that I can count. But it was fun to drive and none of my friends or family had anything similar.

It was a wee bit tight with the two older kids, B and K, before H came along. It was tighter still when Chelsea the Portuguese Water Dog joined our family, or when we were car pooling for dance.

It was an absolute sardine can when we went camping and had tent, food, rooftop bubble, canoe and bicycles plus four people in it.

I loved the stick shift (yes it *is* way more fun to drive than an automatic), and putting it into four wheel drive meant I wasn’t sliding around unploughed corners in winter.

But then we were expecting our third child, H.  And we had The Talk. It was so awkward, because neither of us thought we’d ever have to say the words  “Time to drive a mini-van”.

We were about halfway through the pregnancy when the decision was made for us when an idiot driving behind me hadn’t noticed that traffic was completely stopped. She hit me doing about 60 km/hr. After much freaking out (did I mention that I was pregnant?!) and a circus at the hospital, H and I were pronounced fine. Whew! The Xterra actually sustained much less damage than we had expected due to it’s rigid frame and steel bumper. But, neither of us felt comfortable with our family in it anymore.

So, the next week I found myself test driving a van. A few days after that, we picked it up. And you know what? It drives beautifully, everyone fits comfortably, and the sound system is miles ahead of the old one, plus I have hands-free cell and GPS. So, I can’t complain. I certainly fit in at the school yard and at the dance studio.

Though if you see me staring at your Xterra at a stop light, I’m not staring at you, I’m just remembering the most fun vehicle I’ve ever owned.