Tag Archives: friends

The End of Competition Season

It’s been a whirlwind few weeks. Checking costumes, extra practises, getting to competitions, squeezing in a teeny room to change and another one to warm up.

We all enjoy it though. And this weekend brings us our final dance comp of the season. There is an element of relief, but it’s pretty bittersweet. I, who was always a rec soccer player has found that I love being a dance mom. No one in our studio is the scary kind of dance parent, we all help each other out and love to hang out. I’ve made some wonderful friends through my daughter’s dance. And for anyone who thinks I push her she comes home from practise and immediately starts dancing and perfecting her acro tricks. All of the girls do this. Dancing is in their blood, part of who they are.

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One of our moms posted this Dance Mom Prayer on Facebook tonight and I thought it so wonderfully captured it all that I had to share it with you:

A Dance Mom’s Prayer

For Competition Day

Dear Lord, it is competition season and I have a few prayer requests. Please let our day begin well. May our directions from the internet be correct. May we arrive at the venue on time and find ample parking.

May we have every shoe, costume, costume accessory, tights, extra tights, make-up and any other thing you know we will need, but I have failed to list.

Dear Lord, we need to pray for the venue, yes the venue. May the dressing room space we have be shared with a nice studio, with polite girls and parents and may everyone be provided with the understanding that while we would all like more space, this is what we have to deal with and make the best of it. May said dressing room not be located three stories up from the theater. While I know I need to exercise more, I do not want to start today and dancers in tap shoes hustling up and down three flights of stairs makes me nervous!

May my dancer’s make-up be flawless and Lord bless those applying mascara for their dancers. May the hair process go smoothly. May buns be slick and poufs be poufy. May my dancer have a sweet and cooperative attitude so I do not have the urge to push that last bobby pin in a little firmer. 🙂

Prayers to the parents attaching wigs to their sweet little dancer’s head. Give them guidance to adhere those wigs firmly for I have yet to meet a child, tween or teen who wants to be dancing on stage in a wig cap.

Dear Lord, we must pray for the performance. May my dancer be even more beautiful than she was at dress rehearsal and please dear Lord may she stay upright throughout her dances. If you recall, we have experienced that life lesson in the past and survived; but, we would prefer not to have a repeat.

May our quick changes seem effortless and our tights remain intact. Lord, let the fishnets remain free of giant holes. May we be free of costume malfunctions for I have witnessed them and would not wish them on anyone. May hats stay on heads and shoes stay on feet. May Props remain propped. May we not hear the announcement “Can someone from XYZ studio, supply a back up CD”.

Vision – Dear Lord, this is a big one, please provide dance parents and dancers perfect vision for today so they can see when they enter an auditorium at a dance competition there are dancers performing on stage. I repeat, there are dancers performing on stage. Dear Lord provide them with the awareness that now would not be a good time to stand in front of others or talk loudly.

Dear Lord, may parents, friends and dancers understand that hootin’ and hollerin’ and shaking noisemakers for a lyrical or ballet dance just breaks the mood.

For the awards – may the announcer be courteous and entertaining, but not long winded. May the announcement of the awards be quick, but not so rushed that we can hardly understand what scores the dances received.

Dear Lord, at the end of the day….

May I have had an enjoyable day with the other Dance Moms from our team

May I be appreciative of the other studios we shared our day with

May we have been well entertained by talented children who enjoy performing and sharing their talents

May I continue to be amazed at how hard our dance teachers and studio owner work and how much they genuinely love their students

and most importantly

May my dancer leave today with the same confident spirit she had when she arrived.

Amen.

Source: Your Daily Dance

Have a great competition this weekend girls!!!

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Social Inclusion at School

I follow a an amazing blog, Diary of a Mom, probably one of the most thoughtful and insightful bloggers about autism that I have ever encountered. Currently she has been posting a lot about transitioning her daughter to a new school next year, and is questioning how inclusion is done in her experience.

All of her posts are worthy of reading, but this one in particular is phenomenal. My favorite quote from it is:
“But above all, we want to ensure that we’re not engaging in symbolic inclusion at her expense. That we’re giving her opportunities for the real connections and real relationships that she so obviously craves.”

For years, we have worked very hard to have a supportive team for our son. Yet his social life is very lacking. His classmates haven’t invited him to a party in years. The one that was playing online games with him and having the odd play date with him has chosen NT kids to hang around with instead.

The parents are worse. One went so far as to turn her back to me while speaking with all the other moms at a field trip.

A few months ago, he told me that most days he only talks to the grown ups at school. He often doesn’t say more than “Hi.” to his classmates and they to him.

In that kind of environment, how can his social skills possibly grow?

To again quote from that same post, “Geographical inclusion is not inclusion.”

The answer is clear: he needs to be in a social environment of his peers. Not a large group of NT peers, but a smaller group of other children with similar challenges. And facilitated social interaction, led by someone who truly knows how to teach them to interact.

If only it were that easy though. In our area, the only chance at a public education like that is to put him in an ME (multiple exceptionality) class. If we could find a space. But as a gifted student, that would not be the best fit. Maybe we could put him in the gifted program. If we could find a suitable method of transporting him there. And if we could get a guarantee of some EA support.

If we could find a local private school that suits our needs, and if it fit in our budget that might work too. So far, our research has only turned up one, and we question the appropriateness of it after conversations with the mothers of at least three different former students. I’m not interested in putting myself in the path of a lawsuit for not following the rules, or choosing to go elsewhere.

That’s a lot of “if’s”, with no real solution. Yet. As a mom of a child with autism, I will always keep looking, keep trying and keep hoping.

I have been told by two separate families that the local high school is well equipped and the SERTs are phenomenal. But again, will we just be including him for the sake of inclusion? Will he truly get the social supports that he needs. Or will he be cast adrift, forever on the outside. Always looking in the window but without the keys to get inside?

The reason I don’t win anything

This past weekend I was doing what all competitive team parents must do at some point:
The Pub Night.
I know some people really enjoy it, and honestly it wasn’t bad at all–the company was fun!

It was also the first snowfall of the season that day and it kept a lot of people home. (Why do the forecasters always create so much drama over the potential maybe’s of a storm and basically shut the town down for a couple of cm?)

So it was quieter than we had expected and the bids on our silent auction items weren’t quite as vigorous as we’d hoped.

We were joking that with the lack of bids we would all end up going home with something, and I turned to my friend beside me and said that it wouldn’t matter, because I never really win anything.

She said to me that she never did either and that was ok. Because we have everything that we need in our lives, so we don’t need to win anything

Well. Um. Yeah.

So instead of complaining any further about it, I changed my view. I have everything I could possibly want. Three awesome children, an incredible husband, a silly dog, a four bedroom home, a van (yes I’m even grateful for the van!), and wonderful in-laws. Who could honestly ask for anything more?

Thank you to my fantastic friend for pointing out the obvious when I obviously needed it.