Tag Archives: acceptance

Acceptance and Inclusion, It’s Only Human.

acceptance

When we first became aware that autism is a part of our lives, I welcomed Autism Awareness Day. I wanted other people outside of our family to “get it”.

But a funny thing happened: Nothing.

One day a year of proclaiming support and understanding doesn’t actually make up for a year’s worth of not getting it.

Then I realized that awareness was never going to work. Each and every autistic individual is the same as everyone else in the world, that is to say unique . One individual’s experience is merely that, one individual’s experience. So learning that a child in your community is non-verbal or has sensory issues does not mean that you “know” autism. It means that you know of the characteristics of that individual.

Then, as I learned more about the autistic and autism communities (autistic community being composed of individuals with autism and the autism community being their families) I realized that the blue shirt campaign is the very successful campaign of a single organization that does not recognize autistics as individuals. It is a campaign of scare tactics used to raise money by promoting autism as an evil thing that is to be exorcized from our family members. Autism is neither evil nor a tragedy. It simply is. Autism Speaks does not allow autistics to have a say on their board. It does not represent autistics. This is why I do not support the light it blue/blue shirt campaign.

What I struggle with most is why anyone who is neurologically different, physically different, emotionally different, gender non-conforming, gay or any other kind of “difference” has to ask for you to be aware of their individual specific circumstances. Why is it so difficult to simply accept and include them? No one will be offended if you ask what you can do to make their inclusion go more smoothly.

And please do not get me started on inclusion and acceptance in our schools, because on the surface it’s supposed to happen, but in reality rarely does. The reasons are complicated but do include the fear factor When we remove that fear, then we pave the pathway to acceptance and inclusion.

Today I ask for you to ask yourself why you struggle with acceptance and inclusion and to please do something to change that.

There are books on this subject, and there are many, many blog posts, most written by people far more eloquent than I. I have linked to several of them below so that you can read them and educate yourself. And find a way to accept and include everyone, no matter their individual circumstances.

#autismacceptance #autisminclusion #acceptanceoverawareness

The Color Blue

No more

We are not broken

This is what acceptance feels like

Not Blue

I will not light it up blue

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Members of the Media: Stop endangering my son’s life

This. This is why I don’t believe in Autism Awareness — an “awareness” promoted by parents complaining just how awful their child with Autism is. How their lives changed for the worse the day of diagnosis.

“Awareness” is not acceptance nor is it inclusion. When we promote inclusion and acceptance we promote support. Support for the person with Autism. Support for the caregivers. And we do not tolerate articles that say “so severely autistic that they can’t speak”. Speech is not an indicator for competence or intelligence.

It’s time we all stood up and demand acceptance, inclusion and support.

Spectrum Perspectives

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We had “the talk”

Last night my 10 year old daughter and I were watching one of those house hunting shows. There was nothing spectacular about this one, they weren’t in any exotic locations or looking at million dollar homes. The couple was just an ordinary every day couple.

About halfway through my daughter turned to me and said “I’m confused mom. Are those guys friends or are they married or something?”

“They’re married honey.”

“Oh.”

I could see she needed a little more explanation so I decided to keep it basic.

“It’s pretty simple. Sometimes two men love each other, sometimes two women. Sometimes it’s a man and a woman, like Daddy and I. And we are lucky enough to live in a country where we can marry who we are in love with.”

“Ok.”

“Do you have any other questions about it?”

“Nope.”

And we turned back to the show.

And that is exactly how complicated it ever needs to be.

If everyone took that approach with their children for topics ranging from same-sex marriage to special needs, we would be raising an entire generation of people who accept differences as merely the things that make us unique. That’s the world I want to grow old in, and the one my children will grow into. An accepting, open world.